"The Start"

The start, of anything; is an awesome, powerful, exciting, and terrifying place to be.

The start signifies a point in our lives where the forward movement begins. It is the point where our desires, our dreams, our passions are on the precipice of becoming whole and real. We have planned and questioned and thought and prayed. And now, we are ready to take that next step, and we start.

The start is forward movement. It has to be. We can spend much of our valuable time in stillness. Standing still can be the best move you can make.......for a while. Stillness is good, it allows one to reflect. Looking back on experiences, good and bad, then taking the time to embody how this has affected one's soul, is good....for a while. Why am I here at this place in my life, how do I feel about it right now? Listen closely, what does my heart and my soul say about this place, about thinking to start. Deep down inside, what is my desire, what do I need to start? Who or what do I need to put to the side to start?

Stillness can be hypnotic and deceivingly comfortable. But it can also blow the light out in the lamp of your soul. The start is uncomfortable and startling, it is exciting and scary, but this is the kindling that feeds the fire with in our souls. The fire that moves our heart into action.

So we will feed that fire and we will move forward, at the start. The beginning of a dream, of a life, of the realization of a desire so deep that stillness cannot keep it contained.

It's not easy, it's harder than you may think. Forever now, you have had a dream, a desire that has burned within you. It makes you feel alive and real. You know in your core that this is the dream that is yours and yours alone. You plan and research and read the road maps to your destination, and you're ready. Well that is, until you are at the start. The start of that journey is where you come face to face with your self. No one can take this step for you, and you can't take this step for any one BUT you. Even as you start, you may be looking back, wondering if this is right. But, remember that flame. The flame that moves your heart into action.

It's not easy coming to the start. Many will listen to those who are also standing at the start but don't move forward. Many will and do turn and run away. They return to stillness. It's comfortable, but inside, that flame burns a little less brightly. Some of the fuel has been taken away. They may be the nay sayers, those who you see as better than you, those who are supposed to know better. But what they all don't know is you and your dreams, that is your power, your fuel. Don't let them take away your fire.

You are your best friend, you are your best champion. Nothing any one says to you or about you is as true as the voice that comes from your own loving soul. Being this way isn't selfish or self centered, it's self reliant, and self radiant. It's self aware, and self loving. You would do anything for those that you love. You would stand there at the start with them and cheer them to success at the top of your voice. Why not cheer yourself on with that same gusto?

You will be at the start infinite times in your life. The feeling will always be the same. It is an awesome, powerful, exciting, and terrifying place to be. The good news is this, every time you are at the start, from this day forward, you will be more self reliant and self radiant than you were the time before. You will gain perspective and wisdom, you will feed your fire with awesome fuel and fan your flames with success and self love. Many times you will start, many times, you will succeed. Oh yes, to be sure, there will be times when you return to stillness, to that comfort and safety. But now, stillness will be a harbor along your journey, a place to drop anchor for just a bit, and take stock in your heart and soul. It will be a place to plan and to dream again, to reconnect with your inner most love and desire. You know you will start again, it is as sure as a sun rise. You may start in a different direction, you may start and go back. Either way, the start is moving forward.......................it has to be.

"Listen To Your Heart"

Such a simple statement, yet so darn hard to do. I have thought about this long and hard lately. Seems to me that turning 50 has made me quite the soul spelunker. What do I want to do with the second part of my life, knowing that this is the time for opportunity; is she knocking? Can't say that I would even hear her if she did.

I think, in order to listen to the whispers of your heart, you need to quiet the noise in ones' head. There is so much talk, discussion, arguing, cajoling, bargaining, yelling, and on and on, pick your adverb. And, yes this is all going on my head, yours too? Geez, no wonder we can't hear opportunity. She would need a sledge hammer to break through the din of all that.

So, what to do? Well, first off I am learning to meditate. Sounds simple, but again, so darn hard to do. Shutting up my brain is quite the feat. I am really loud!!! But, none the less, I continue. I sit quietly and use the visual of a golden yarn woven from words of strength, love, and good intentions. That yarn will wrap around any bad thoughts, feelings, or misguided pathways. The warmth from the glow will turn the ick into the fuel that feeds the golden ball of yarn. From there during my day, if I feel icky sneak up on me, I just close my eyes and see that golden ball of yarn. So far, it is working.

Then I find with that peace, I can work on forgiving me for being human and expecting too much. After all, I can only do so much and sometimes my alter ego.........hummm, I think I will call her "Icky", gets the better of me. I can be the most positive person in the world when helping others heal and come to love themselves, but gosh it is hard to heal my own soul. Go figure..........

I want the simpler existence, I want peace and calm, I don't want to worry about money, or work, or how I will pay the bills next month. Time and time again, it always works out, and the worry has just served to occupy my time in ways that don't serve me or my soul. Still, I find it hard to stay in the simpler existence. Still, I find that "Icky" is standing there in front of me, beckoning me to come with her down that path of crap that I am so familiar with.

Sigh................I do know one thing that is for certain!!! I KNOW without a doubt what my heart wants, and I KNOW without a doubt, that I will arrive there some day. The path is yet to be cleared, there is much under brush and thorny branches. But, every minute and every day that I can find my inner peace and work my own personal magic on my soul, is a minute and a day closer to my heart's desire. And, I KNOW that I can hear opportunity as she knocks. It's "Icky" that causes me not to answer at times, but I do, on occasion push past her. It feels so good to answer, and I want to answer more..........And I will.........