"The Family Tree"

The family tree..............let's ponder on this a bit.

A tree is rooted in the soil, one main trunk that grows upward, branching out in all directions. Each branch and leaf seeking its own path and power. As much as the tree grows upwards and outwards, it is forever permanently connected to the trunk and to the soil from which it originated, once only a tiny seed.

The tree can be a mighty oak, strong and singular. Or it can be a hybrid, one trunk on which another is grafted. The branches, leaves and fruit are a combination of the two.

As I ponder, a vision forms................I see in my mind's eye, a sunny hillside. On top of that hill is a massive tree. Thick of trunk, and the branches, covering the expanse of the universe. This impressive tree sways in the light, gently rocked by the breeze of life and love. It's movement is almost hypnotic.

I think of the family tree in this light. A large expansive connected mass reaching out in all directions. Think of your family tree for a moment. Who do you see here? Mom and Dad, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles, our children, and in my case, all the dogs I have loved before, and of present time. Maybe even a few cats, gerbils, hamsters, snakes, and other assorted flora and fauna. All these souls represent who we are and how we got here. None less important than the other, all play a part in the whole. Like the leaves of the tree who collect the sunlight and send it down the branches to the tree. And, the roots hidden deep below the earth, even though not seen, play the essential role of sipping up life's water and sending it into the heart and soul of the tree. No one part has a bigger roll than the other. All together, they make a solid impressive presence in the world. It says, “Look at me, I am the sum of all my parts, and I am beautiful!” Truly, yes!!

When I look at my own family tree, I see some unique characteristics. My family tree has been, at times, a meandering one. I have been married, lost loved ones in my life, married again. I have grown many branches on my tree. Step children, step grandchildren, other aunts and uncles, many relatives. In all of this, there is much life lived. Some remind me of happy times spent in the sunlight, on the upper most branches. Yet, some remind me of the dark, sad days spent in mourning and despair. Much like being buried under the earth, like roots, cold, dark, much too quiet. In these dark times, I was presented with a surprising realization of life, love, and yes, the definition of the family tree.

Family is what it is. Be it blood or other bond, family is the cohesive existence of many different souls all growing their own direction, each seeking their own path and power. Yet all supported and nurtured as a whole.

I thought about it..... my family tree is truly a hybrid. The trunk of my tree is indeed large of girth and solid as steel (thank you mom and dad for being my base and beginning). My branches consist of family past and present, and other families, past and present. Even though you sadly say good bye to loved ones, in whatever form that may be; when one branch becomes withered and falls away, the other branches still remain. Although not directly your blood, always, your bond. They are here, forever in your family tree. And they are yours, to love, to care for, and to support.

I wouldn't have it any other way...........................

"Suspended Animation"

You know what I mean? It's that moment in your daily life when something hits you right between the eyes. It stops you cold and you can feel life "suspend" in time. It lifts you off the ground, so you don't have good footing anymore. You can't quite catch your breath, and you feel a bit queasy. You can't get a grip on the ground so that you can move forward. It holds you up by the back of your neck like some ugly ogre (the kind with a big club and a whorty face.......ick). Maybe that is why the feeling of suspended animation can be accompanied by the hair going up on the back of your neck, it's the ogre, and he's got you!!

It happened to me this week. News from home, my mom was not well. She was going to have a procedure to make her better. At that moment, I felt the ogre reach out and snatch me up. Many questions came, when, why, who. All the questions were asked and answered. You would think that this would be enough to make ogre put you down. You know the drill now, so on with it. But no, it's more than that. Knowing is not, well, knowing. You are in that time of suspended animation because, NOT knowing, you can't move forward. Not until you know you can move forward with that person, my mom, again.

As I think of this concept, of moving forward together, it makes me realize that although we all move forward in one way or another, in our own separate lives, whatever threads that bind us all to one another move with us. When one of us stops, we all stop so as not to break the thread. So, does this make the ogre the puppeteer? Who's in control here? Hmmm, good question...............................One does see that we all, as a whole, move together. No matter how long the threads, if one person on that thread cannot continue, the rest of us will wait until they can.

Suspended animation is an uncomfortable thing. You can't move forward, all you can do is look back. That backward glance isn't always the best view either. Most reflections in the rear mirror are fraught with misgivings and missed chances; to tell someone you love them, you are proud of them, you miss them, you need them. All the things that you want to say but don't, stare straight at you when you are in suspended animation. You make a pact with the ogre.You will say these things, and much more, if he will only let you go and you are once again able to move forward, surrounded by the threads of love and care.

We all will be here from time to time in our lives. Suspended animation. It's potential is always right around the corner, ready to stop us in our tracks. We go from day to day, smug in our comfort zone totally ignoring the ogre in the room. Don't do that...............Don't become so confident in life that you forget in an instant the ogre could grab you and haul you right off your feet.

Yes we will all be there, of that I have no doubt. I guess the lesson here is while you are hanging there at the end of that dreadful ogre's arm, biding your time, waiting for your loved one to move ahead with you, make sure the view in the rear mirror holds no regrets.