The other day, my youngest stopped in to pay me a visit. It's always wonderful when the kids drop by. Today, though, it turned into a visit that sparked a deep soul search within me.
When my daughter dropped in, I was in the middle of an exhaustive search for the most definitive comparison of eye cream that I could find. You see, earlier that day, I would be found standing in the middle of the face cream isle at our local WalMart. I was reading label after label of foreign sounding ingredients and well worded promises to make me look like I had just sipped from the proverbial Fountain of Youth. Some products were reasonably priced, some others, seriously, how much does one need to spend for eternal youth and beauty!! Of course in my mind, if it doesn't cost as much as the national debt, then, it must not work, right? Recently, I had actually tried a fancy prescription face cream recommended by a dermatologist co worker. Well, I can say that I felt it did tighten up the saggy jowls a bit. The bags under the eyes weren't quite so, and it did seem that those pesky crow's feet and frown lines were a little less noticeable. But then, I went to the pharmacy to inquire about the cost. Now there's some shocking news!! Really, I now know how much one needs to spend for eternal youth and beauty. WOW!!
So, back to my visit with my daughter and the definitive comparison search on the old eye cream. After listening to me krutz and complain for a while, my daughter finally said, “Mom, you spend so much of your time writing about the joys of getting older and how great it is. Isn't this kind of against what you stand for?” Kids these days, really the insolence of the lot of them!! But then again, “out of the mouths of babes” it came. My youngest has always been my best mirror. She is one who will call a spade a spade. She doesn't let me run away from my self too often. And, in this instance, she had me completely boxed in.
So, what is it about all of this that is so unnerving? Why do we feel like we have to cream, needle, stretch and sew our true selves away? Why can't we look in the mirror everyday and rejoice in the wisdom and beauty that life's artistry has bestowed upon us? I remember a few years back, when I was in training for a mind body exercise program I teach. There was a woman in my class, Dotty. She was the quintessential earth mother. She was older than the rest of us by more than a bit. She had long silver hair, her face bore the markings of a life well lived. She made no excuses for her thoughts, her style, her self. She was an intuitive healer. In the week I spent with her, she gave each of us girls what we needed, when we needed it. She nursed us all that week, with the grace and knowledge that only her living could teach. She was so at ease and comfortable with her self, it was magnificent. I remember during one point in our training, we were to move to the music's calling. I looked at her, but she wasn't moving at all. Instead, she stood still, eyes closed, head tipped up, hands raised, the music called to her to rejoice in it, to worship it. By not moving, she moved in ways so ethereal and magical it cannot be put into words. This, my friends, only comes from living, and the acceptance of it. Glory to life in all of it's splendor. Even now, this image is so powerful to me.
So, back to my daughter's question, it's a hard one to answer. Yes, putting ridiculously priced beauty products on my face to try to turn back the hands of time is against what I stand for. But, what is so scary about letting all this be? My hubby says, I don't need these things. Bless his loving heart (course it could be his way of telling me that I should spend my money on more sound investments too). Either way, it's common sense. But common sense doesn't make one feel more secure about themselves in a world that is ruled by youth and beauty.
Oh that could be a whole other story........It's scary to know that you are getting older, showing older, feeling older. But, as I have mentioned, we don't get older, we “season to perfection”. So, maybe, instead of looking in the mirror and seeing the frown lines, the crapey skin, the bags under my eyes, I should see, the laugh lines from years of joy and smiles, the face that has changed to become more and more like my mother's (she is a very pretty woman, as she enters her 78th year), the bags under the eyes, well they are there because of late nights with my girls, snuggling and rocking them to sleep in the wee hours, they are there because of sitting up late and talking with my beloved because we enjoy each others company and comfort, not wanting to say good night. The reflection in the mirror is my story written right there in front of my eyes. I will choose to honor my story............
Now, will I never buy fancy beauty products, or will I never dye my hair again? That remains to be seen. I know now that I am not willing to spend a small fortune to turn back the hands of time, and I'm OK with that. I will buy my usual product, it works well enough, and it will suffice. I do buy a box of hair color every 6 weeks or so. It's a tiny investment in my vanity to be sure.
It's scary to grow old in this world, but, I am brave, and I am so much more than what is on the surface. A little fluffing of the feathers with a healthy dose of common sense and self love isn't a bad thing. So, in keeping with “seasoning to perfection”, we all can add a little flavor of our choosing from time to time. In the end, we will be delicious. Just remember, too much flavor, and the result can be a loss of the true original recipe.....
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